Friday, April 22, 2016

Week 13 Storytelling: Two boys and a Hawk

 A flock of birds were happy as could be. It was a bright summer day with sun warming each feather. The wind was blowing the same direction they were flying which gave them that extra boost. They were flying over the beautiful rolling planes of Oklahoma. Nothing could be more perfect.
Two of the children birds were feeling mischievous. One would fly up and bump the other and play tag. They would also bug the other members of the flock.
“James!” yelled the other child.
“What Mark?” James asked.
“Look down there! Look at the awesome trees! We should go down there!”
James said with caution, “Oh I don’t know, Mark. It looks pretty far away and my mom said to stay with the others.”
“James, we won’t even be gone for very long. You mother won’t even notice. She is too busy talking to my mom.” Mark pressured.
James looked over at it mom and saw she was in a deep conversation with Mark’s mother. James then looked over at the trees.
“They are really cool trees and my mom won’t even notice. What could it hurt?” James thought to himself.
“Okay fine Mark, I’ll go with you but we have to hurry back.” James answered.
“Woo!” Yelled Mark as he started flying towards the trees. James followed as fast as he could. James did not want to be gone too long.
As the trees got closer they did become more and more beautiful. Mark was gliding through the air excitedly and then landed on a branch. James perched right beside him. The trees were huge and green. A truly beautiful sight.
“Well hello there, boys” a strange voice came from below them. Suddenly a huge hawk flew up from a branch below them and landed right beside them. The boys were frozen in fear.
“You two look lost. Why don’t you come over with me and I’ll help you find your little flock.” The hawk said with a sly voice.
“We aren’t lost” said Mark, “In fact we were just taking a break from flying. We will be on our way now.”
The hawk didn’t like Mark’s answer and looked as though he was about to pounce on the boys. The boys saw this in his eyes and flew away as fast as they could. Sure enough the hawk was right behind them.
With out the boys even noticing, all of the male bird from the flock were flying straight toward the hawk and in one mighty push, rammed into the hawk. The hawk flew away and the boys were saved.

Author’s note

For this week  I read part A of “The Giant Crab, and Other Tales from Old India.”  and noticed a theme of other characters being saved by their own kind. So I incorporated that theme into my story this week.

2 comments:

  1. Hello,
    I enjoyed your story! Always nice to have a happy ending. One suggestion that I have is to remove the tabs at the beginning of each paragraph and character dialogue. I think it would be more aesthetically pleasing if you had everything left aligned with a space between each paragraph or dialogue. Just a thought. Great job!

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  2. Hi Ollie,

    That was a great story. It was simple and to the point. I'm glad it had a happy ending. Without the aid of the older birds, the two young birds would not have had a chance. I like that there is a moral for the young birds in this story. Maybe at the end you could restate that. Good job!

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